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for once, that stranger was right. #best09

December 23, 2009

W hen the last couple of weeks of december come around, don’t you feel a crazy urge to make lists and photo montages of the past year? no? just me? ok. well i sure do. it’s like all of a sudden i realize it’s about to be a new year and crap! i should blog about all my milestones and important stuff that happened this year, otherwise people will never know and soon i won’t be able to for a whole ‘nother year! then i eat a cookie or two and relax, because hey, that is what the archives are for. it’s why i don’t do christmas letters. because i can never remember all the stuff and no one wants a letter detailing the ups and downs of poo consistency, toddler meals and how many days this year i successfully put a bra on my boobs. that is what i have this blog for.

so when i came across Gwen Bell’s #best09 project last month, i got super excited and totally planned on doing it. then all of a sudden it was like the 12th of december and i didn’t want to jump in all late (even though that’s so what i do) so i totally gave up. today i checked what the topic was for the 23rd : webtool. since i am totally and 100% technically uh, special,  and could never write a post about anything web-related (exhibit a, this hot mess of a place i lovingly call my blog), i have decided to do tomorrows topic, learning experience. what was a learning experience this year that changed you?

this is what i like to call a loaded question. especially to a new mom. i mean, what didn’t i learn? nearly every day of the last 365, i have learned something new, and almost all of them changed me. and i talk about all of them here. right? right…except the one thing i learned the most about:

my marriage.

you know when you’re engaged and people give you all that advice about being married? you know, like “never go to bed mad” and “marriage is hard work” and stuff? guess what i learned this year? they were right. having a baby really brings marriage to a whole new level. sometimes you see things in your other half that you never knew and sometimes those things make you smile (like how excited he can be to come home and swoop up equally excited little girl) and sometimes those things make you frown (like learning he really can sleep through a shrilling baby scream even though technically, it’s his damn turn). even though Scot and i always made a good team, it’s more important now. you know, since we’re solely responsible for raising an upstanding human being and all.

when H was 6 weeks old we were at the grocery store. i remember as we were putting the groceries in the trunk (Scot) then putting the baby in the car (me) then putting the stroller in the trunk (Scot) then putting the cart back (me) then highfiving (team effort) and being realllly smug about how awesome we were. small victory? yes. but to 2 sleep deprived, spit up covered new parents, it’s huge. since then we’ve conquered even bigger obstacles of parenting and there is nothing more comforting that knowing you can trust the person you signed up for this with.

it wasn’t always easy. rarely do you read an honest piece about how parenthood affects your marriage. i’m not sure if people are lying to themselves or ashamed or what. why is it that complete strangers will openly tell you their opinion on breastfeeding in the checkout line, or warn you of the perils of childbirth (“GET THE EPIDURAL”) but no one ever mentions “oh and your marriage will probably suffer”? i guess with all of the excitement and anxiety about bringing a baby into the world, you just don’t stop to think that said baby might mess with your relationship. next thing you know the baby is here, and it just did something superuber cute and someone didn’t see it because someone had their eyes glued to sportscenter. oh and equally, someone who used to look cute everyday now refuses to wash their hair and boycotts a bra because someone is too tired/busy/lazy to do so.

in closing (and what i mean by that is, i hear Harper waking up from her nap even though i’m not completely done and YES i once again wasted naptime on blogging), i love my husband. i love him more everyday. and lord knows i am freaking lucky he loves me, too. can you imagine putting up with me on the daily (if you need an address to send him sympathy cards, email me)? this year i really learned what people meant by “marriage is hardwork”. it really is, but should always be followed up with “but totally worth it”.

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12 Comments leave one →
  1. bobbi permalink
    December 23, 2009 3:40 pm

    33 years later, it’s still hard work…but TOTALLY worth it!!
    Love conquers all :)… as the cliche goes.
    xoxo, bobbi

  2. kirstenmcc permalink
    December 23, 2009 3:44 pm

    Very well said! And, love the picture of you two! I like the kind of antiquey-black-and-white look, how did you do that?

    Totally unrelated but very funny…at the bottom of your post, there’s a bar that says “Possibly related posts (automatically generated)” and the top suggested post is titled “The Kind of Girl Who…asks out strangers right on the street.” :)

  3. December 23, 2009 5:28 pm

    Couldn’t have said it better, Mandy!

  4. rachel permalink
    December 23, 2009 6:28 pm

    I love this entry. It’s one of my faves so far. Why is it that no one ever tells you that marriage is harder post baby? They tell you that you won’t get sleep (duh) and other things that you probably already know. Thanks for your honesty. I hope some soon-to-be mamas read this.

    rachel
    ps. I got dressed two days in a row thanks to you.

    • May 16, 2017 5:06 am

      Gee wikesllri, that’s such a great post!

    • May 31, 2017 10:10 am

      pleins des bonnes manières | (14:46) JE NE SUIS JAMAIS POUR LES COMBATTANTS ET JE NE SERAI JAMAIS MAIS POUR CETTE ACTION JE VOUS FELICITE ET VOUS DEMANDEZ MERCI BEAUCOUP VOILA BA STRATEGIE PE BA MISSIONS YA BIEN YA KOSALA PONA REVEIL CONGOLAISE, MALGRE NA EGLISE BOBUKI NA BINO RIEN JUSTE BOKUEYISI KAKA BILOKO IL FALLAIT TOUT DETRUIRE MERCI

  5. kerri permalink
    December 23, 2009 8:04 pm

    so true. and well written…as always!
    :)

  6. December 24, 2009 9:52 am

    That was the best written and most honest post. Some people make it out to peaches and cream, others throw in the towel, then there are those like us, that STRIVE to make it better, strive to make it work. It is hard, but it is completely worth it. I can’t imagine not having my hubs around.

    • May 16, 2017 7:11 am

      Thanks.Then th7;1&#82eers the big question: who? At this moment I can only think of Diosdado, his brother and (gulp!) JVR.Needless to say, none of them are as popular as he is.

  7. December 24, 2009 9:54 am

    Oh, and YOU ARE SO NOW ON MY FAV BLOGS TO READ! I just read your whole thing before I commented on this one… ADORABLE! And I love the clippies. You are so creative.

  8. Katie permalink
    December 24, 2009 1:16 pm

    great post mandy. it’s all so true. looking forward to seeing you in a few days!

  9. January 12, 2010 6:36 pm

    Thanks so much for your honesty! You really don’t hear things like that, ever. It’s something worth hearing so that you can best prepare yourself, I think! I have not even considered this until just now.

    Found your blog through last train to pooksville’s. You have such a beautiful daughter and a lovely little family. Congratulations!

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