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socks are gross anyway.

December 16, 2009

C old weather and i do not get along. whilst i love the holidays and Christmas very much, i just have a feeling i wouldn’t mind celebrating november through late february someplace tropical. i hate rain and i hate wind and i hate generally being cold. this really poses a problem come september because i equally hate coats, hate socks and hate (winter appropriate)shoes. two common scenarios in the M household between the months of september and march:

1] as we’re leaving the house:

scot : aren’t you going to wear a coat?

mandy: ummm, i’ll be fine, let’s just go.

cue whining and cursing for the duration of said trip and a lot of side eyes from husband while keeping “i told you so”s to himself.

2] as we’re leaving the house:

scot: aren’t you going to wear a coat?

mandy: you’re right, i should.

then i put on a coat, but oh, i am wearing a 3/4 length sleeve shirt. no sleeve to grab hold of while i pull my coat on, resulting in 3/4 sleeve bunch up, resulting in me freaking out because i hate the feeling of my sleeves bunching up, resulting in me ripping off coat and throwing it across the room (have i mentioned i’m a 6 year old?). cue husband almost injuring his eyes from giving side eyes because hello, he married a crazy.

then there is the driving. if ice or snow is involved, i immediately refuse to go anywhere and insist that people i care about do the same. instead of being an irrational fear (like most of mine are), this one is based on a real scenario that i’ll probably never forget for as long as i live. in 2003 i managed to do this to a Ford F150:

since i’m alive (by some miracle) i can joke that i don’t think anyone could smash a giant truck like that into oblivion any better than that without a contraption you find at a junk yard (go me! i love succeeding). how does one do something like this? only with the help of some black ice, swerving into a median and flipping 5 times, coming to rest just short of the opposite freeway with oncoming traffic. throw in ALL of your christmas gifts and luggage in the king cab so as you flip, it can all be thrown about, whacking you in the head, breaking windows and then being strewn about the freeway. don’t forget to be knocked unconscious and waking up hanging upside down. people, all i can say is please wear your seatbelt. it will break your collarbone, leaving you with a lightning bolt shaped one for the rest of your life, but at least you’ll have a life (and personally, i like my lightning bolt).

if i didn’t adore my family and friends so much, i’d make scot move us to figi or hawaii or arizona. freedom from rain and ice, where i could wear open toed shoes all year and not even have a coat closet. but yeah, you guessed it, i’d complain about how hot it is. sigh.
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9 Comments leave one →
  1. December 16, 2009 3:07 pm

    Oh man, I also hate coats and shoes. If I could be well pedicured in flip flops 365, I’d be WAY happier.

    There is nothing attractive about winter clothing. All bunched up and layered, only to freeze while outside and sweat the moment you enter anywhere indoors. I hate it. HATE IT. And I live in a city where we RARELY go below 0 degrees Celsius (so I guess 32 F?). My husband on the other hand comes from somewhere that it is currently -37 C. He thinks I’m a wuss for putting on 2 scarves and a toque today when it’s 9 C, but it’s COLD!

    I never throw my coats though..only my hairbrushes, when I’m having a bad hair day (which is every other day). And it usually involves tears. I am a crazy too ;)

    • Mandy permalink*
      December 16, 2009 3:18 pm

      i’ve been known to throw a hairbrush in my day. crazies unite.

  2. December 16, 2009 3:14 pm

    Oh man! That’s a serious accident mama! I’m glad you are still here to blog for the masses. But, I love the lightning bolt collarbone! My husband has the same from a dirt biking accident and I think it’s hot! Wear that proudly! Except, he says sometimes that collarbone hurts when he eats a big meal. lol. Does that happen to you? Maybe HE is the crazy.

    I love winter clothes, I think I’d do well in Washington. In the cold you can always put on more clothes. When it’s summer I am sitting around DYING because I can’t take off my skin! lol.

    • Mandy permalink*
      December 16, 2009 3:20 pm

      haha! a big meal? no, but that is hilarious.
      mine has a very weird nervy sensation, possibly because i didn’t get surgery and just let it fuse back together on it’s own, it could have pinched nerves or some crap. so i never let Scot touch that shoulder for back rubs or anything because it makes me jump outta my skin.

      • December 16, 2009 3:43 pm

        lol. Yeah my hubs never had surgery either so it’s pretty crazy looking! But rad!

  3. kerri permalink
    December 16, 2009 5:33 pm

    holy crap…that looks HORRIBLE!!! and sounds SCARY! i hate the cold too…i hate socks…more than i hate the cold… i refuse to wear them. if i could live in flip flops i would. figi would be my local for choice…i will go before i die…hopefully.
    oh an i throw tantrums…that always involve tears when ever we have to go “out.” thats why we stay home…ALOT.

  4. Kristi permalink
    December 17, 2009 8:31 am

    I have the same kind of collar bone from a crazy car accident where our car looked like yours! Glad we all survived! My collar bone hurts if I carry something heavy for extended periods. I like the cold in small doses. I’d be perfectly fine with just a month of it. But the heat I can despise as well. We have a few 100 days here during summer and it’s grossssss.

  5. silenceandnoise permalink
    December 17, 2009 8:14 pm

    Oh, crap! Pretty crazy. I had a car accident as well and broke my pelvic bone and got amnesia for a week! No trauma, though, because I don’t remember anything at all about the accident.
    I did the opposite: moved from tropical heaven to the north-pole. not.a.smart.move.

    • Mandy permalink*
      December 19, 2009 5:04 pm

      omg! amnesia and a broken pelvis? yikes lady!

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