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aw, that was cute of me.

September 25, 2009

i must admit – before i had Harper, i had grand ideas of what it would be like to be a mom and along with those ideas came “nevers” – things i would never do or say. when i was pregnant i saw a book called “i was a really good mom before i had kids”. it made me laugh, and think. now, almost a year into it, it could be the title of my book. i’ve compiled a list of things i said i’d NEVER do:

[feed my baby formula] man, i was awful about this one. some of things regarding breastfeeding that came out of my mouth pre-Harper coming out were downright hilarious. i mean slap-your-knee funny. i actually uttered things like “i don’t care how hard it is, i will keep trying until my nipples fall off” and “babies who are formula fed are sick all the time”. yeah. i did that. you know what miss know it all? (yeah, i’m talkng to past self – i’ve told you before i’m bat doodoo crazy) it’s freaking hard. what sucked the most (besides the fact that my nipples did almost fall off, literally, and having the worst supply issues known to man) was that my determination to breast feed ended with guilt because i had really convinced myself that formula was poison. but guess what? it’s NOT! H has never ever been sick ever, and has a sane mother, not the crazy one she had for 6 weeks hunched over a breast pump crying begging the milk gods to give her more than half an ounce in 30 minutes.

[put my baby in her own room before 6 months] this one cracks me up. every time i pictured life with Harper, i pictured her in her bassinet in our room. no. just no. this lasted about 8, maybe 9 weeks and no one was getting any sleep (what was that noise? is she breathing? i better check to make sure. ::baby wakes up crying because her crazy mom has a finger by her tiny nostril checking for air::) putting Harper in her own room was the best thing for everyone. she is a championship sleeper and has been ever since. i always read about people walking the halls with their babies, rocking them to sleep for hours, stressing about crying it out, etc. this is foreign to me. don’t get me wrong, i know how lucky we are, but seriously – we kiss her goodnight, lay her in her crib and she falls asleep. that’s it. crying it out? who’s crying? not my kid.

[own brightly colored plastic baby toys] hilarious. who the hell did i think i was? at one of my showers i recieved a playmat – blues, reds, yellows, oranges, purples – and i politely said thanks while mentally finding a place in the garage for it/scanning my brain on who i could regift it to. i judged the hell out of that playmat. right down to it’s musical little stuffed lion. then when H was 2 or 3 weeks old, i busted it out. she loved it. because she’s a baby. did i really think these toy people didn’t know what they were talking about? good lord. harper could care less for the modern, more hip toys i wanted her to like and you know why? because they’re BORING. these days, it looks like a rainbow barfed in my living room. and i love it.

[let my baby watch tv] noggin rules my life. end of story.

[give my baby jarred baby food] i try to make all of Harpers food, but let’s be real. there are mornings where the coffee can’t brew fast enough and opening a container of gerber organic bananas is easier for my tired butt than mashing one up while H screams bloody murder for FUD. again, NOT poison.

i’m still standing firm on no mini-van ever (although once another kiddo is involved – i must admit i can see the convenience of a sliding door via remote control – but still, no) and no soda or frappachinos (seriously, come on people).

8 Comments leave one →
  1. September 25, 2009 5:58 am

    we are seriously the same person! too funny! love it.

  2. Amy permalink
    September 25, 2009 7:46 am

    I love it! Thanks for sharing. I’m “Providence” in your news feed by the way…

  3. September 25, 2009 9:20 am

    I love it, Mandy! It is really funny how much you think you have it all figured out PREEEEE-kids. How things do change! I thought my little guy would be in his crib DAY ONE. Too bad it took 3 months before my husband could pry him from my bed. But, you’re right- as soon as he hit his own mattress- seeping through the night like a champion. A kiss goodnight and he just goes to sleep. No crying. No fussing. Everyone is happy.
    I pretty much agree on all counts here- except I still like the modern toys!! <3

  4. September 25, 2009 10:16 am

    Oh, the life we imagine and the life we actually live…I ain’t sayin’ nuthin’.

  5. emily bilbrey permalink
    September 25, 2009 2:45 pm

    i loved the part about the playmat – “i politely said thanks while mentally finding a place in the garage for it/scanning my brain on who i could regift it to” – sooo funny! david and i got a kick outta that one! i remember going into best loved baby when i was pregnant and registering for a couple of $30 cloth & wood waldorf toys – you know, made from organic cotton in pastel colors? SO the kind of thing a baby would NEVER want to play with! at least not my baby! and of course now that she’s here i would never dream of spending that kind of cash on a toy that doesn’t actually do anything functional. now when it comes to toys, i’ve realized the more obnoxious and brightly-colored, with the craziest sounds and lights, the better p likes them. like you said – SHE’S A BABY. duh! (-:

  6. emily bilbrey permalink
    September 25, 2009 3:00 pm

    p.s. poppy is fully watching tv while i pump right at this minute. no judgment here! (-:

  7. Kristin permalink
    September 26, 2009 8:49 am

    This was a hilarious post Mandy! I also swore NEVER to drive a mini-van. But alas, 2 car seats, a dog crate, a double stroller and one eleven year old + his friends won’t fit into anything else. I also went through major guilt and pain with breast feeding Lincoln. My mom can attest to that. It was horrible for me. Now he’s a healthy and active almost 3 year old.
    I also would get nothing done were it not for Netflix and the ability to instantly play Thomas and Caillou episodes for my kids to watch! LOL.
    You are a GREAT MOM!!!

  8. Jodi permalink
    September 27, 2009 1:53 pm

    Good to know I’m not the only one who let’s my baby watch Noggin. I too swore I wouldn’t let her watch t.v. until she was at least 18….that went out the window pretty quickly! Love reading about your journey with Harper :)

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